Here is a collection of collages I made representing my childhood.
I may have posted some of these previously, but since they fit with this theme, I thought I’d re-post them.
These are actually pictures of me when I was around the age when my abuse was happening. (Yes, I know, I’m really freakin’ cute!) Even though there is a smile on my face, there wasn’t a smile inside. Inside, I was a very angry, confused, hurt and scared little girl. I learned from a very early age how to “fake it” and put on a great mask to make everyone think I was normal and good.
This collage represents all the stuff I wanted but didn’t have. I have most of those things now, but as a kid, I didn’t. I love the expression on the face of the little girl in the picture. She looks delighted, excited and full of innocence with a tiny bit of mischievousness mixed in there. In the center of her arms, there is an owl. I didn’t have a stuffed owl as a little kid, but I love owls now and I have a stuffed owl named Lumpy that I take to therapy sessions with me. Lumpy is my friend, he keeps me safe, he listens and he comforts me. As a kid I really didn’t have that stuff.
This collage is a bit different from a lot of the collages I make. In most of the previous ones, I’ve used words and pictures cut from magazines, but in this one, a lot of the words were hand written and decorated with a specific purpose. The specific phrases “I am bad” and “Naughty” were written with my left hand, which is how the little girl part inside of me communicates. The picture of the bird in a cage represents how trapped I felt then and even now.